For men, sacrifice has become a substitute for intimacy.
Our fathers, by their actions, taught us that man's first responsibility was to provide financially for his family. Love came to mean sacrifice. When they returned at the end of a long day, they had little time to spend with their sons, daughters, or wives. They gave all they had at the "office." Many men spend more time working because they know what is expected of them more at work than at home.
Our perception of our fathers as emotionally unavailable began a modeling for us of sacrifice as a substitution for intimacy - a modeling that we all learned too well.
Men today feel isolated from other men and find it difficult to maintain satisfactory relationships with women.
As men, we have been primarily raised by our mothers and therefore continue to seek nurturing from women. Our fathers, who usually were absent, silent, or neglectful, taught us lessons that we unknowingly reenact. For example, if we were put down, ridiculed, or never touched by our fathers, then we become afraid to trust other men, become inpatient of others, or put out an angry atmosphere when around those that we love.
Man's ego gets in the way of his happiness.
In the past, man was valued for being tough, brave and strong. Today, the toughness that was once our strength has become distorted into the macho behavior that turns off women and isolates us from other men. Since society no longer values these qualities, our status has declined as our confusion has grown.
To change, we must do the inner work that our fathers did not know how to do.
This Men's Group Provides the Place:
|
 |
 |
What Is The Deep Masculine?
The deep masculine is the core spiritual, social, and psychological qualities of being a man; valuing fife, honesty and integrity, feeling responsible toward the planet and its people, and acting responsibly with commitment, energy, sensitivity, and compassion.
When we connect with the deep masculine, we learn to find a comfortable balance in being strong without oppressing, being powerful without overpowering, and in taking control without controlling.
We learn that being loving and forgiving are deeply male traits.
Although our pain and our goals may on the surface seem different, our journey is the same.
We begin with a look at our life, our fathers and other male role models, in order to claim back our identity as men. Empathy, understanding, and forgiveness do not come easily.
When we focus on ourselves, and explore our masculinity, what first emerges is our anger and/or loneliness, our emptiness and our unmet needs. When we start challenging their beliefs on what it means to be a man, then we can begin giving something back to ourselves, to our wives, and to the planet. If we regress, we will be abandoned, emotionally and ecologically.
And when we have our stories witnessed by other men, something powerful takes place. The feelings of support, connection and validation are often life-changing.
In a Men's Group, man comes face to face with who he really is, and he learns to love and honor that person.
"I've discovered an unknown me, by relating to other men." J.R.C.
"A gathering of men is just that — men coming together to heal each other by addressing masked feelings and emotions and behaviour patterns of the past and present, that if not objectively looked at now, will continue to plague and haunt our future and all whom we come in contact with." Joe
"The Men's Group is a place where you can trust other men... and trust yourself." D.G.
"If there was one word to describe this group it would be trust." J.R.B.
